Over the last few weeks I’ve been curious about the connection between my own experiences of markets (or rather…avoiding marketing) and a shared experience that many of us have of resisting or finding it challenging to show up and be seen (both by others and by ourselves).
Before I came to my first Rosen Method session, I found expressing myself challenging. Not in a way that was immediately obvious to others perhaps – I could often speak articulately and communicate aspects of how I was feeling. But there was a deep truth that I didn’t really know how to get to, nor how to express. Certain emotions were scary, or unreachable…and expressing those, let alone feeling them, seemed an impossibility.
Through Rosen sessions, I learnt to get to know myself more deeply. To acknowledge that I had a whole range of emotions including joy, fear, sadness and anger. Over time, I also learnt that it was ok to feel those emotions in the body and to express them in my sessions and then beyond my sessions. Ultimately, a big part of my journey has been learning to allow myself to be seen – in all the glorious technicolour of the spectrum of emotions that are available. And when I say ‘seen’, I also and perhaps most importantly mean – seen by myself.
Curious, isn’t it, that our habits sometimes come curling back to us in new ways? It was only recently that I realised that the pattern of hiding and not allowing myself to be seen, had been playing out subtly in the arena of marketing (or not marketing!) I have spent some months now procrastinating about, ignoring and utterly avoiding marketing my practice. Something always seems to pop up and need to be done just in the moments I have set time aside to get on with writing a blog post, or designing my business cards. How strange that I suddenly have another engagement, or the housework calls on me to prioritise it, just as I look at my diary to find the words ‘marketing time’ scrawled across today’s page. ‘Maybe this is happening because marketing just isn’t important,’ I think to myself. But there is something going on at a deeper level. Though in many ways I am now much more able to allow myself to see and be seen, there is a new and subtle layer emerging in relation to being seen in the wider world.
Crawling around in the belly of my experience, is fear. It is a familiar monster, a creature who although seemingly scary to look at, is actually tender, frightened and uncertain of itself. This is the part of me that just wants to run for the hills when putting myself ‘out there’ is mentioned. So, this resistance to marketing, avoidance of creating materials to share my work with others, is simply an extension of this pattern of hiding and of avoiding being seen. This new layer, is an opportunity to get to know myself in a new way and to attend to and acknowledge the tender experience within – the fear and uncertainty.
So, having looked it in the eyes, tended to it, explored it and acknowledged it’s existence and the space it may need to begin an unravelling, I am entering into a new layer of allowing myself to be seen. New opportunities to be more alive in the world and in my experience. What does that mean practically though? Well, on one level, it has meant an ongoing listening to my body’s responses and the emotions and views that attach to this tightening within my belly and my heart. A practice of showing kindness to all that I find in these explorations. And on another level, it means that I have now designed and sent off for business cards (watch this space) and, this first blog post is hot off the press and ready to go winging out to you.
And what does it mean for my Rosen practice? Well, this exploration is showing me a new layer of seeing the tenderness that can lie beneath our shared human fears of being seen in all our wonderful technicolour aliveness. The need to allow space, patience, kindness and acceptance in allowing ourselves to emerge. A beautiful reminder that being more fully alive to our experience includes all our emotions and all of our responses to the world, and that allowing ourselves to be seen is a layered and unfolding experience.
If you are interested in exploring how Rosen could support you to move towards being more fully alive, get in touch for a free consultation call and book your first session. I am currently offering people a first session at half price, so do get in touch soon to make use of this offer.
Warmly and with gratitude,